Sorry, but I need to be deep for one moment.
I have had a really hard week. A few of the things that have been spectacularly shitty for me are not even my situations, they’re other people’s situations.
I had a meltdown today. A full-on meltdown. I was in my car sobbing, trying to talk on the phone about something a little too private to share here (sorry) between fits of tears, with a migraine headache, feeling both “woozy” (not dizzy, apparently) and sick to my stomach (I was convinced I would throw up, but never quite did), and shaking.
I called my boss from the parking lot to say I needed to take the afternoon off. Poor guy, he asked me if I was going to hurt myself. That means he’s a well trained boss. I would think the same if I got such a disturbing phone call. Hurting myself is never on my mind, not even on the darkest day. In the past I can’t say that was true, but I could never do that to everyone who loves me.
I am feeling much better personally, after going home for some kitty hugs and kisses, but I am still very worried for a few friends, and not looking forward to the situation for another few friends.
Lesson: Don’t have friends.
Fuck you, Lesson. Hugs to all my friends who need them. (If you think I’m talking to you, I am. I’m also talking to the ones who can’t visit right now, and the ones who don’t and won’t ever know this blog exists… *sigh*)