“Smart impresses me; strength of character impresses me. But most of all, I’m impressed by kindness. Kindness, I think, comes from learning hard lessons well, from falling and picking yourself up. It comes from surviving failure and loss. It implies an understanding of the human condition, forgives its many flaws and quirks. When I see that in someone, it fills me with admiration.” — Ridley, lead character in Lisa Unger’s Beautiful Lies
I’m not sure I’ve ever read a more perfect passage in a piece of fiction not based on someone’s life. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be the only great part of this particular New York Time’s Bestseller, but whatevs. These words are my words. I might as well have written them, because they precisely state who I am as a person. If you need to know how I think about human beings, how I’m able to show the compassion I have for other people, these words tell you how I am programmed to think, to feel.
In completely unrelated news, I ordered my Halloween costume from a company that really wants the person who is indicated on the SHIP TO label to actually sign for the US Postal Service package that arrives, but I foolishly put my own name on the SHIP TO of Mama Dawg’s house. I tracked the package yesterday and realized that the USPS had indeed tried to get a signature for the package on (Saturday? I don’t recall, a day I wasn’t sitting on the bench outside the house waiting for a package to arrive in my name, anyway) but left a slip that said “pick up your package at the post office, LADY.” Well, fat chance of that happening considering my Manhattan-bound status during the week, and I actually have to *gasp* work this coming Saturday so everyone devised the plan that I would sign the slip then Hollywood would take it to the post office on Monday and say that I just married into the family (I did not) and that I am his daughter-in-law (well, ya know, I think I am despite the lack of legality, but I don’t think the USPS would necessarily agree), and that I live with him and please oh please give me her package cuz, look, she wrote down the same address as is on my license!
This morning Dawg called me at work… in the morning… on a MONDAY… a very rare occasion, having now happened all of ONE TIME.
Poppy: (cheery but inquisitive voice) Hey, Babe!
Dawg: (serious, stern voice) Hey Babe. Listen. I just got off the phone with my mom and I have to head down to the 104th precinct. My dad went to pick up your package and got arrested…
Poppy: (thinking in my head, “now why would it be the 104? I didn’t go to the 104 when my car got broken into on their block…” and then “OH HOLY FUCK SHIT DAMN I GOT DAD ARRESTED!”)
Poppy (continued): “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!??!!?!??!?!”
Dawg: (chuckling) Yes, he got the package. I’ll pick it up on the way home.
Poppy: (hysterically laughing but pissed) You know if that REALLY happened I would have to exit all aspects of your life out of complete embarrassment.
Dawg: (continuing to laugh)
Poppy: *sigh* Good one, though.