It’s not really a crisis, but I have done a lot of reflecting on life since my birthday in July.
I came to a few conclusions:
I have chosen a few different things than I was taught to choose while growing up, such as being married with babies in a house with a garage and two cars in it by now, and I am happy to have chosen differently. I still look forward to those things someday if they’re in the cards, but I am so happy and (blessed) in my life that I can wait. And, by wait I mean be happy with how things are right now and re-evaluate again a bit later.
Also, I want to wear a ring again. I never wore rings until I was married. I wore one for 7 years of marriage. I then separated and divorced, so have stopped wearing one for 5 years. I want to wear one, but I don’t need to keep waiting for one to be given to me. So, I’ve decided on fashion rings that are clearly not infringing upon the promise/engagement/marriage areas. I have chosen a “Poppy” ring for my first new ring.
It’s big and heavy and will look even better when my nails are painted, and I can’t quite figure out which hand I want to wear it on, but I love it. And I gave it to me, because I love me.
Also also, I am finally accepting that it’s ok to be an adult Monday through Friday from 9am to 5pm but a kid outside of work. Being an adult 24/7/365 is horrible.
And also also also, I really miss my Vermont (and Tennessee) family and would like to figure out how to incorporate them more into my life. I have tended to put an emphasis on visiting friends every time I have returned to Vermont, but when we all rallied for my maternal grandmother’s funeral I realized how awesome my family really is and that I love them so much.
Well, that’s about it for now.