Lately I’ve had a couple “this could actually be reality and you’re just the last to know” dreams. In the first dream I was screaming so loudly up in the air that I wondered if I was screaming in real life and woke up to check. Turns out I wasn’t, and Dawg was snoozing happily next to me. This morning’s dream was a follow-up to the first. In this dream I had a lot of “first person” sensation where I was confronting someone in my dream and even picked that person up, even dropped that person with the intent to harm, even yelled at that person to stay the fuck out of my life.
I really don’t want those dreams anymore. They are built on insecurity and fear. Even if they were true life, I don’t deserve to live it in my dreams as well as my reality.
So, tonight I stood up on the bed and shook my dreamcatcher. We each have one on our side of the bed, directly over where we sleep. It may be just a coincidence, or a ritual to me, but whenever I empty out the dreamcatcher my bad dreams tend to leave for a very long period of time.
Here’s to hoping those dreams are gone for the rest of my life.