Karen Sugarpants shared this in Google Reader and at first I was like “whatevs” but then I was like “LOLZ!!!!!!!!!” so I’m sharing.
Recently Dawg and I were emailing each other trying to decide what movie to go to over the weekend and I made the offhand comment that there was nothing to see. He told me he had a surprise for me instead and when he got home he presented me with a glorious Apple sack filled with Apple TV!!!!
So I wrote a review for Buy Her, because the entire world needs to know how awesome it is. Go read it! Yay! Also, Britt asked me to be a regular tech tips writer for Buy-Her so expect to see me write just general helpful tech tip posts as well as all kinds of reviews in various categories of life over at Buy Her. And if you just wanna read my stuff all the time because you love and/or need to stalk me you can actually subscribe to just my posts.
Also, today is WEDNESDAY, so please go watch me eat cereal too. Thank you!
And, um, it’s really weird hanging out here so often lately… I might quite possibly return to only the occasional post because, as my Facebook blurb says, “Something done regularly is taken for granted. Something done intermittently is a nice surprise.” I made that up, based on a lifetime of observation and highly scientific empirical data-forging.
Two of my favorite things combined: Star Wars and the NYC subway system (that’s the 6 train)
Also, Dawg and I ate cereal today. Maybe you’d like to check that out too.
…but Dawg left the room to give me my space, so no one was around to pull on my ponytail.
This weekend Dawg, The Terrorist, and I drove to the Tropicana in Atlantic City, NJ for a little R&R.
I offer you the trip in photos and video, along with a little explication.
Ladies, if you want to be hit on constantly then you go on a trip with The Terrorist. I warn you: He also hit on a crack addict prostitute (elaborated on at the end of this post). His standards for flirting are: anything with a vagina, and sometimes he’ll hit on men for practice.
(Side note of seriousness: I adore The Terrorist, he is a great friend. I feel bad if I let you think he isn’t an awesome guy because he truly is. But if you ever get to meet him and he flirts with you just to get in your pants then you’re not meeting the real man behind the one night stand. Just sayin’.)
As soon as we got there we did pre-check-in where we stood on line to reserve our hotel rooms then we played a couple of slots while we waited for Pajamas and his Girl of the Day to show up. I know Pajamas from the vollies corps, but the guys who aren’t at the stage of life to settle down typically bring a girl to have fun with while they’re there, and that’s the type of girl Pajamas brought so I shook her hand and could pick her out in a line-up, but I didn’t get to know her. (If I see her 4 more times I’ll ask her what she does for a living, if that makes you happy.) Pajamas and his flavor of the weekend were on their way back home so we said goodbye to them and I played my Enchanted Unicorn game until I lost my $20.
(Side note of seriousness: Pajamas is a great guy from what I personally know about him. NYC is just a weird beast of a place where guys don’t seem to settle down until they’re “old” so in the meantime they are essentially perceived as woman grinders, as in they go through a lot of them. And Pajamas is young enough where he’s still grinding through the ladies. Some day I’m going to sit Pajamas and all the other young’uns down and tell them what it’s like in Vermont, how the “game” is played, and all their minds will be blown to bits.)
Terror, Dawg, and I went to The Fiesta buffet to eat a lot of food. I had carving station flank steak and roast turkey, corn on the cob, a baked potato, salad with blue cheese dressing, and a chocolate mousse with a Coke to drink. I tried a cheese ravioli with lobster sauce, but as happens EVERY time I try seafood I hated it so I gave the ravioli to Dawg who was very much enjoying the seafood with Terror.
After food we went back on line to get our room keys, at which point I used my newly acquired Diamond Club card coupon for a free room upgrade to get us one of the newly renovated rooms in the South tower of the Trop.
That photo is of him sitting on his hotel bed, watching the Sex and the City movie rather than going downstairs to play the slots with me and Dawg. Yes, he came all the way to a hotel to watch TV. But his room was comped, so what the hell does he care if he’d rather cry over Carrie’s wedding dress? He agreed to make a reservation for us all to have dinner at Red Square at 7:30pm then Dawg and I strolled the boardwalk and I snapped a few photos:
…but the sound of the ocean is what I needed to take home with me so I took this video:
…and cried the whole time. The ocean is a very bittersweet experience for me.
We sat down on the boardwalk and just people watched until dinner time then we met up with Terror and went to Red Square for salad, steak, and Russian vodkaaaaaa:
After dinner we walked back to the casino area to put $20 at a time into colorful, musical machines of fun.
[INSERT PHOTO OF CASINO FLOOR HERE USING YOUR IMAGINATION SINCE PHOTOS OF THE CASINO FLOOR ARE FORBIDDEN.]
I got hit on by a crack addict who ordered a Midori sour with a cherry from one of the MANY waitresses who never, ever gave me the time of day (note to self: next time wear a hat that says “I want a free drink and I tip better than the old pervy guys”) even though I dropped $250-$300 overall into their shiny machines that night, then the guys decided to play the tables so I brought Rebel back up to the hotel room then played some slots on my own and wandered back over to The Quarter to see what other trouble I could find, but Dawg called me to tell me he and Terror were done losing at the tables so I went back up to the room with Dawg and we had fanfuckingtastic sex on the edge of a tall bed and went to sleep. (Yes, Finn, apparently it always is. I apologize to you.) (No photos of that either.
The next day I got all dressed up in my next day outfit, including my Bongo jeans I hafta squeeeeeeeeeeze into then found out that we weren’t playing any more casino games, but in fact were leaving the hotel. After we were all packed up Dawg tried his hardest to get Terror to answer his damn hotel door then Dawg and I went downstairs:
and I shopped at James’s for taffy and chocolates to take home then got a yummy bacon, egg, and cheese on a Kaiser and a small hot coffee at Adam’s deli (SUPER GOOD). After we left the hotel Dawg drove us left onto Atlantic…
People in Atlantic City are kinda crazy. The tourists, sure, but the locals definitely. Some prostitute was screaming on Atlantic Avenue then came over to the Dunkin’ Donuts the 3 of us were in and started screaming for a cab driver because no cab had driven by in a half hour to pick her up and she had $500 in her titties and she was sober and somebody better drive her to where she needed to go, and everyone just laughed at her and called her a crazy bitch so she left and wandered into traffic, almost getting hit by more than one car, then sat at the bus stop instead of getting on the bus that was at the bus stop. Only on Atlantic Avenue… (We have an Atlantic Avenue near us in Queens, and the same savory crazy people hang out on it!
And that’s the trip, folks!
Full photo set is here. Dawg will have his own photos up eventually.
A food story
Monday at lunchtime I did not feel like leaving the office, as I never feel like doing, so I hopped onto grubhub.com and put in my lunch order.
What I technically said and therefore received, because this is New York City, so anything you say you want you can actually get, oops: A bunch of pieces of swiss cheese thrown together between white bread (dry) with bananas on it. As in, the fruit. I hate bananas. They are revolting to my taste buds. And they charged me $1.00 extra for the bananas but the delivery guy couldn’t read the slip and kept telling me it was $10 for the bananas. Yah, no. 100 is a dollar. That’s the last time I pre-tip for that particular establishment… I had a proper swiss cheese sandwich with sandwich topper peppers, mayo, and toasted bread for dinner. NUM!
A movie story
And for your viewing pleasure I present to you my review of the movie KNOW1NG (aka Knowing) starring Nicolas Cage, in less than a minute!
At the end I say something about spoiling the whole movie. I know, I know, my audio sucks. But my boobs are fantastic, so who cares?
A love story
Also, a piece of love advice from me and your favorite Dawg with an orange blog: It’s hard work to find true love, and even harder work to keep it. Be prepared! (<3-8 baby!)
A story-tall amount of happy
Happy bastille day, happy my-dad’s-birthday, happy (18th?!) anniversary to you-know-who-you-are!
Thursday night Dawg and I went to Five Guys to have our favoritest burgers on the planet and they did not disappoint. Then we went to his parents’ house to pick up some packages and hang out with the kitties.
We eventually got sleepy enough that we came home and zonked out until the next morning.
Bright and early wake-up for no apparent reason, then off to Dawg’s parents’ place to pick up Dawg’s truck so he could get it inspected. After dropping off the truck we headed to E*SPARKS for pastries and iced caffeine, then home and hung out waiting for the new TV!!!!!!!!
It arrived without a hitch, and the bonus is that I found my new camera (just in time!) under the couch which had been missing since May 17! Dawg took care of setting up the TV then I took care of making sure it was programmed while he took a few minutes to cool off in the bedroom. After he recovered we took off to go pick up the truck minutes before the station closed. $573 to get her inspected, but there is a very short list of items Dawg loves more than that truck so we do anything for her. We returned to Dawg’s parents’ home, opened a package from Adam and Britt, and TXTed them our excitement over said package even though it was not for me (hehehehe).
Then we all piled into Hollywood’s car to head off to an Argentine steakhouse in Forest Hills that serves absolutely amazing steak.
After we went back to the house where we all had Fudgie the Whale cake and talked about wrestling and The Real World. After this we went home and watched some more of our new TV then had some very deserved hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! time and fell asleep until morning.
Saturday we stayed home to watch the 2009 Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest (Joey Chestnut won by a landslide) then decided to go to Jackson Hole for lunch.
OMG the burgers there are AMAZING. Five Guys, run for your money right there! The burgers are 7 oz and are a perfectly wonderful texture inside with a wonderful caramelized top and bottom. I’m drooling just thinking about it. And there was so much that I cut my burger in half before starting to eat it so I still have the leftovers! We then headed to Best Buy to look for an HDMI cable to hook up to the TV, at which point we realized we need an HD cable box, so decided to hold off with that, then went to Target and did a little bit of shopping. We got Street Fighter: The Lengend of Chun-Li, the John Cena movie 12 Rounds, an extension cord for diverting the power for our computers so we could put an air conditioner in the living room window, and some light daughter-hates-tyrranical-father-memoir subway reading: House Rules by Rachel Sontag. After Target we went to 7-11 to pick up hot dogs for our own hot dog eating contest!!!1
(I won, but only because Dawg took a pause to eat some sweet Gherkins before finishing off the last third of his fourth dog) then went home to stay in for the evening and watch fireworks out our living room window (ILLEGAL ones only a block away from the police precinct and the Macy’s fireworks our new TV.
After fireworks we made our own fireworks/hot dog eating contest in the bedroom and fell into a deep slumber.
Sunday we bit the bullet. We got fortification at E*SPARKS then went to the Super Stop & Shop to do a full shopping, our first since The Incident. I suggested a new game plan: I take the cart and I do the shopping while Dawg drinks coffee and wanders the store on his own to pick up whatever items he wanted. WOW, that worked out way better. He went to the deli and ordered all he wanted from there while I worked off the list I made, with the cart at hand. We would occasionally run into each other and flirt and kiss and say those lovey words, then go our separate ways so I could continue working on the list while he waited for his 31-minute-long deli order. (It was a lot of stuff.) We did check out together since we had $338 of groceries to bag and cart, so much that the cashier asked us if we were having a party but Dawg just explained we only go full shopping once every 2 months. On our way out the door she said, “see you in two months!” That made me giggle. We came out of the store still in love, still in like, and still speaking to each other. Amazing what a change in strategy does!
And then we went to 7-11 so Dawg could pick up our winning Mega Millions ticket and we got a parking spot directly in front of the apartment building so we could bring up alllllll the groceries in two trips (only had to clean out one garbage bag full of old food to make room for the new, heh). After that it was tennis time — caught the end of Federer kicking Roddick’s slimey ass after 4 hours 17 minutes, and Serena redeeming a doubles title for Venus after stealing the women’s title from her — and then we watched movies. Or, I assume we did. I wrote this part before we got to that part.
Full set of weekend photos are here. I highly recommend that you take the time to look, especially if you’re a Dawg fan or a Poppy fan.
And since this is what many of you have been waiting for, here’s The Trick Candles / Fudgie gets whacked / The guy we all think is so damn great celebrates a day he says he hates but seems to tolerate very well if we make it extra special:
(Mom, there’s your real ice cream and cake.
Give me a day off and I return to my old tricks: Two posts in one day!
And in other news, I love this commercial: