Am I the only one who wonders aloud in my head, “what would Tyler Durden do?”
Yes? Hmm. Ok.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about:
1. You are no longer cool.
2. You haven’t seen Fight Club enough or perhaps read a Chuck Palahniuk novel lately.
3. You don’t read celebrity blogs.
4. You’ve repressed. Unrepress, silly.
I found this over at A Feast of Crumbs and I need to share. Here’s a list of 10 reasons why Johnny Cash owns pwns Chuck Norris, authored by Xxoozero at Shoutwire:
Reason 1.
Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called “The Man In Black” and it wasn’t Chuck Norris
Reason 2.
Johnny didn’t have to fight to be a bad ass. He just had to pick up a beer bottle and a guitar.
Reason 3.
Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls.
Reason 4.
Chuck wasn’t the first of his kind to kick ass. Johnny was the first rock star to set something on fire. While most artists only set their hotel rooms on fire, Johnny took it one step further and burned down half a national forest.
Reason 5.
When Chuck was five, he was a normal five year old. Johnny had already earned man points by working in his dad’s cotton fields. That is a true bad ass. By the time he was six, Cash did more hard work than most men do in their whole life.
Reason 6.
Chuck never got stabbed in the back by a woman. Johnny never stopped bleeding. Chuck may have gotten punched a few times, but Johnny knew what real pain was.
Reason 7.
Chuck is a republican. Johnny was close with every president except for GWB. It was said he just didn’t trust that son of a bitch. When Johnny didn’t trust someone, you just knew something foul was going on.
Reason 8.
Johnny was invited to play the at White House in 1972 for Richard Nixon. He was given a list of politically correct songs to sing. He instead metaphorically threw up his middle finger at the establishment, in true ShoutWire fashion, and sang a set full of left leaning, politically charged tunes. Chuck Norris has never told the president to fuck off in his own house.
Reason 9.
Chuck Norris made a lot of crappy movies. Johnny Cash never touched anything that didn’t turn to gold. In the 80’s, he made a song called “Chicken in Black” to get himself out of a record deal. Even that became popular.
Reason 10.
Johnny is the only man in history to decline painkillers after a double bypass heart surgery. He knew he liked drugs too god damn much and wouldn’t stop. That shows power over an addiction previously not seen before. Kicking a ninja’s ass is easy compared to kicking a drug’s ass.
Posted without permission from Joe or Skeletor.
Rachael Ray has manhands.
Big, meat hooky hands.
Keep in mind that black is slimming and that she’s a tiny thing.
Also keep in mind that she does a lot of chopping and tearing of food with her bare manhands.
I used to like her before she became the 30-Minute Oprah. I really wish she’d stop invading my snack crackers, iced coffee, knives, pans, and television.
See? Total invasion.
Paris Hilton is being sent back to jail and being told to serve the entire 45 day sentence.
Get the news:
Stop putting yourself on the radar and people will stop bothering you. The End.
And I’m all done talking about this forever. I don’t care.
I would like a sugar cookie and might have to go scout for one soon, but in the meantime I am full up from Brad and Angie kissing, even though I can’t actually see anything.
Found that photo over at I’m Not Obsessed but Vera didn’t give her source. Weird that celebloggers don’t give sourcers. Also weird? A lot of celebloggers link to my site as a fellow celeblogger site. Hi everyone, I’m the purest form of blogger — random. I blame CityRag and MK for my celeblogger status. I would blame Kate at BritPoppa who now writes for The Bosh, but her site (BP which links to me, not TB which doesn’t) is defunct. And perhaps I am linked to because I don’t mind name dropping. Yup…
Update: I just totally inhaled one of those half-baked cookie dough ice cream and brownie Ben & Jerry’s Peace Pops. YUMMMMMMMM. And I disagree with the assessment that it is only 78 degrees outside. It’s at least 90.
Update 2: There is actually live (looping) video of the Brangelina kiss over at X17. It’d be hotter if they stopped looping it. But still pretty hot!